What Does FLCL Mean?

By Robert Cameron Fowler

[Disclaimer - this is my analysis of the 2000 anime "FLCL." I originally drafted and posted this article for the FLCL subreddit, so it is free form and maybe even a little rough. I'm not too concerned - this one comes from the heart. If you have not seen "FLCL," then this post will be incomprehensible. However, you can burn through the entire series in the same amount of time that it takes to watch Judd Apatow's "Funny People (clocking in at 150 min.) and is available in English on Hulu Plus and in Japanese on Funimation's Youtube page. Go see it for yourself and if you're interested, give this article a read]

I have read a lot of theories on FLCL but have never been really satisfied. The whole "it's a metaphor for imperialism" analysis makes for a grade-A college paper but it doesn't resonate with me at all. It's just too academic and reductive. I find FLCL unbelievably moving and not because of how it comments on history, but because of how it helps me as a person. When people say that "it's a metaphor for puberty," I think to myself "sure, but is that it?" I find FLCL so singular and compelling and realized that, for me, it can't really be understood using literary analysis but by just bringing your own life experience to it. So here is what FLCL says to me.

Some quick context: I first saw FLCL on Adult Swim in the summer of 2003. I was twelve, my family had just moved back to my hometown where I had always felt out of place, my older siblings had left for college and I was just generally miserable. So FLCL struck me like a thunderbolt - I thought it was this radical, shocking, miraculous thing. Like most people, I couldn't understand a lick of it - but I felt like it was the only thing in the world that understood me at that particular time and place in my life.

It wasn't until last month that I revisited FLCL as a 24-year-old - an entire lifetime since I first connected with it. It has been a revelatory reunion. What was once a fond memory has become a priceless artifact in my emotional understanding - I am so grateful that this story exists. It took all of my life experience in between for me to really understand it. It's sort of like reflecting on a pivotal event in your life and understanding it in a way you never could have before.

I know that many people find FLCL inscrutable, but I think in a lot of ways it wears its heart on its sleeve. Look past the psychedelic imagery and gonzo digressions; just watch how these characters interact with each other. I think too many people get hung up on the sexual allegories. Of course sexuality is a crucial component of puberty and the show is right to emphasize it, but it's not really what Naota's journey is about. The lessons in FLCL are actually pretty straightforward but they're obscured by the show's chaotic rhythm and the haziness of each characters' motivation. Which is pretty much the same case as life.

I feel like FLCL isn't about a boy becoming a man but instead about how we are only hurting ourselves when we actively pursue "adulthood," or our idealized self. It's kind of the anti-coming of age story, because it dares to question what adulthood even means.

I'm going to use a lot of key moments from "FLClimax" to illustrate my points, so here's a Funimation-sanctioned upload of that episode in case you want to check out the moments I'm referencing to see for yourself:

Something that has always mystified me is that Haruko is stunned when Naota confesses his love for her. Her shocked expression set off lightning in my 12-year-old head. Why would this surprise her? She's spent the entire series trying to worm her way into Naota's heart. Except that I don't think Haruko actually knows what love is, and that's her fatal flaw that keeps her from growing as a person (and why she will forever remain 19). Is she in love with Atomsk or does she want to eat him? It's both - she idolizes him and wants to become him, and that's her idea of love: becoming someone who is her own idealized self. That's the natural conclusion for someone who is a consummate man-eater. Haruko treats intimate feelings like they're a joke (10:42). Her far-off stare when Naota sobs into her chest at 11:42 is one loaded poker face. What's going on behind those eyes? Is she mournful, regretful or just bored? You can never really tell with her.

[Side note: Naota breaking down in Haruko's arms is one of my favorite scenes in FLCL because it casts a deeply bittersweet light on their relationship. Who is Haruko to Naota? On one level, living without her has made him realize how much she has become his world - he is in love with her. But when he asks her why she left and how she could ever leave him behind, the question is also directed at his brother Tasuku. On another level, the way he clings to her is an acknowledgement that Naota is a boy without a mother. We realize now why Naota has been so hesitant to open himself up - he feels abandoned by those he loves. Does Haruko recognize this? As she cradles him, she's acting as his lover, his sibling, his parent. And yet she can never really allow herself to be any of those things for Noata. Kinda breaks my heart.]

For me, her posture and expression in that moment looks like someone who recognizes that they're getting in too deep, that they're teetering on the edge of feeling personal responsibility to another person. Naota began as a means to an end for her but when he cries in her arms she is reminded that this isn't a game anymore. But her bracelet keeps clinking away - indicating that Atomsk is near - that reminder that she's close to getting what she wants, to become that person she sees herself as. She's resigned to her destiny and just tunes this moment of honest connection out. She simply cannot allow herself to feel anything - because once that door is opened, she'd be letting in feelings like doubt, insecurity, regret. She would no longer have control over her identity. Haruko views emotions like they're pathogens and she has steeled her immune system accordingly.

Someone becomes that numb to intimacy because it scares them. Haruko embraces the perks of adult behavior (developed sense of humor, sexuality, freedom) but she's a coward when it comes to actual intimacy. She's incredibly brave in other ways: when piratized Naota is barreling down on her, she's defiantly ready to be crushed. But when Naota confronts her with his vulnerable, sincere feelings? For the first time, she's speechless. Terrified. In that moment, she's a confused kid just like the rest of us. Then she must watch Atomsk, that rock god whose the coolest of the cool, fly away. She's not worthy - but then again, no one can actually become Atomsk. He's an ideal, that aura we perceive in those we look up to. But no one has it all figured out - there is no stage in life where you are free from feeling powerless. If Haruko actually caught Atomsk, she would ultimately become very disappointed.

The show keeps asking what FLCL means. Something kinky? Is it just gibberish? I think, in the end, the show tips its hat to what it's all about: love, baby. Sex is an important and thrilling discovery as you're growing up, but if that's all you ever care about then you'll become Naota's Dad, who is gonna die alone. Obsessing about sex is ignoring the bigger picture. It's not physical sexuality that really paralyzes us during puberty - what's really scary and frustrating are the anxieties and insecurities that come with sexual intimacy. Our cultures talk about love like it's only this wonderful feeling that will brighten your life, but it's much more complicated than that. In reality, love is traumatic and can tear you apart.

This show captures the body horror and chaos of discovering sexuality, but if FLCL was only about sex, it would have ended when Naota swung the bat and hit a home run. This show understands that the most terrifying thing about sexuality is emotional intimacy. Because that means taking off your "mask" and being truly naked. So many people are scared to show their true selves - they're convinced that there is something wrong with them and that to be loved they must become this other person - their idealized self. Tasuku didn't need to move to America for their to be a gulf between him and Naota - he is years older and at a different stage in life. People with older siblings know this all too well - there comes a point where you feel forcibly separated from this person you love, where they have gone to a place you can't follow. The physical distance between these two brothers only makes the emotional gap between them literal. So Naota adopts his "mask" of being a rational adult in the hopes that if he can commit to this role, then he can bridge the divide between him and Tasuku and be connected with him again.

Naota has walled off his emotions as a coping mechanism. By trying to play this role, he is suppressing his true feelings and by extension denying his own self. He thought that he had crossed some figurative finish line in "Brittle Bullet," believing that he had become his idealized self - his brother. But this is shattered when Mamimi calls out for Tasuku, not Naota. He can never become his brother; just because you swing the bat doesn't mean you get the girl. So he bristles with rage and hits his lowest point. Sure, it's a good thing that he takes back his name ("don't ever call me Takkun again!"), but his whole outburst is kinda unfair to her.

He never loved Mamimi - the reason why he's so enraged his because his ego has been bruised. He's already in love with Haruko but hinging his self-esteem on Mamimi's approval because of her connection to his brother. When she doesn't return his affection, this false identity he's made for himself cracks. He had been treating romance like a power play and gets mad when he loses. He berates Mamimi for not recognizing his worth, but really he's just trying to convince himself of this. He then goes into battle fighting for the sake of his own ego, so of course he loses. Adding insult to injury, it's revealed that he was the bullet, not the pilot. He never really had control. This idealized identity he had constructed is completely broken down.

In "FLClimax," Naota learns what it means to truly swing the bat - coming to terms with the blistering intensity of loving another person regardless of whether or not they love you back. By doing this, he accepts his true self.

Admitting that you love someone is really hard to do, because it's kinda stupid. And childish. Being in love defies all of your rationality and self-interest. It's making yourself totally vulnerable and ceding control - and Haruko looks down on vulnerability. While she's amused by a child's insecurity, she's repulsed when an "adult" like Amarao shows weakness. That's why she can't allow herself to love.

The climactic kiss isn't a physical consumation. Naota and Haruko had locked lips several times throughout FLCL, but it was always her kissing him. All of those times, the kiss meant nothing. In the end, Naota chooses to kiss her, and it actually means something this time. Furthermore, it means everything. It's not really the world that's at stake when Haruko and Naota clash - what's going on is a battle between the mind and the heart.

Haruko is powered by self-interest and narcissism - what she wants is to vindicate her own ego by becoming the most powerful being in the universe, becoming her idealized self. Naota is powered by his love for her - he is literally bathed in the energy of a burning heart. Naota won't let her get what she wants - it would hurt too many people - but he basically surrenders to her. Instead of cutting her down, he admits defeat because he can't stand to hurt her. But by throwing in the towel, Naota has won.

I think Haruko's sort of "superpower" is that she has realized the absurdity of everyone trying to play their "adult" role. She recognizes how everyone is putting on a "mask" and thinks that they're suckers for even trying. This is why she is so adept at shifting identities - nurse, housekeeper, guardian, tormentor, lover - she understands that these are just roles and that anyone can play the part. It's why she's so amused when Ninamori reveals her "Puss in Boots" scheme in episode 3; it's why she is able to identity what people want and manipulate them so easily. It's why Naota is endearing to her - he rages against his mask even while he clings to it. And it's why she takes such pleasure in twisting the knife in Amarao's self-esteem - as far as she's concerned, the guy only has himself to blame for his misery. However, she has the same angst as everyone else and is searching for her own mask - Atomsk - so that she can have the ultimate control over her identity and escape from all insecurity and self-doubt. That's why she's shaking with rage when Naota emerges with Atomsk's power - he has stolen her mask and therefore reminded her that she will never have control, just like everyone else.

When the tables are turned and Haruko is clearly outmatched by Atomsk-as-Naota, Agent Amarao urges him to "teach her a lesson." Amarao keeps warning about the end of the world but that's not really what he cares about - all this time he has wanted to deny Haruko what she wants and see her punished. He bemoans that Medical Mechanica is going to flatten Earth's brains - which seems to mean they intend to rob everyone of their uniqueness and capacity to feel - but this is a guy who literally wears eyebrows to shield himself from his own emotions. He clings to his mask just like everyone else. What he really cares about is seeing Haruko punished for breaking his heart. He is among the many who emerge from puberty jaded and hateful of the opposite sex. That's not maturity - that's letting anger and spite dictate your life. Amarao could not understand why Naota would choose Haruko over the world - but that's because he has become a corrupted version of himself - only willing to love if he will be loved in return. That's thinking purely with your head.

[Side Note: I think our culture has to do a much better job of shepherding children through puberty. We expect them to sort out their heartache and confusion by themselves and yet we inundate them with so many mixed messages. So many people don't really make it out of puberty alive - I think the lack of empathy and compassion leads to so many cases of depression, sexual frustration and misogyny. A good start would be for Disney fairytales and romantic sitcoms to stop pushing this myth that there is a X+Y=Z formula to getting someone to like you.]

Naota, after being betrayed by Haruko and gaining the most coveted power in the universe, could have taken revenge. That's what Agent Amarao would have done. Instead, he discards that power and let's Haruko know that despite all that she's done and how much she has hurt him, that he loves her. To Haruko, Atomsk's almighty energy is the only thing that truly matters. Naota throws that power away like it's nothing and makes her realize that, to him, she is all that truly matters, even if she doesn't love him back. By doing this, he defeats what Haruko represents. Naota demonstrates that we are not measured by how much power we wield or control we have over our lives, but by how we affect those around us. The sexually charged nature of their relationship was a red herring the whole time: it was not Haruko's flirtatious advances that bewitched Naota, it was how she invited him to share a connection ("You're the one I saw first"). Haruko is at her most dazzling to Naota when she idly observes that eating a bowl of awful ramen can be fun - that's what he loves about her. She doesn't need to become Atomsk to be a shooting star, and by denying her what she wants while simultaneously affirming how special she is to him, Naota lets her know this. I think he deeply affects her with that gesture. At the very least, he rattles her worldview irrevocably.

FLCL began with Haruko giving Naota a kiss of life (the CPR) - he is never the same afterwards, even if it's not immediately apparent. Appropriately, FLCL ends with Naota returning the favor.

Haruko leaving Naota behind was the first truly altruistic thing she does in the entire show. She finally recognizes her responsibility to Naota as a person and, despite her soft spot for him, decides that it's time to let him off this ride she has taken him on. She also lets him know, in her own snide way, that it's okay to still be a kid and that he doesn't have everything figured out. The look on Naota's face, to me, shows that he had already come to this conclusion. He just wishes Haruko could find it for herself.

Haruko will continue after Atomsk but can never catch him, forever stuck in that selfish phase of throwing aside all the relationships around you in pursuit of some fabled identity you feel entitled to. She thinks that there is a finish line to becoming who you want to be but that's just not true - no one has it figured out and the only way to grow is through experience. Atomsk is an unattainable goal - we only grow through valuing the people in our lives. Haruko can't comprehend this and that's her tragedy. However, she takes Naota's guitar with her and leaves him her own as a memento. It's a sign of subtle growth for her - she would never have done something so sentimental beforehand. It's a gesture that he meant something to her and that she wants to leave a piece of herself with him, and that they will now always be carrying their experiences together. Her sociopathic drive has been cracked somewhat, and I suspect that it will only continue to chip away from there. The day she gives up on chasing Atomsk would be the day she finally becomes a person.

Naota learns a lesson that is very difficult to take in. Yes, you're going to get your heart broken. Some people are going to be fickle with your emotions and betray your trust. Everyone has their own motives and desires and you can never have complete control over your life. His odyssey isn't actually that unique - to any child, the politics of love are so complicated that they might as well be a giant alien conspiracy spanning the universe. The question of why you would want to engage in life when it's just going to knock you down is a fair one. But you can't become bitter - you'll just be like Amarao, who remains a helpless little boy. You can't let the fear of rejection or betrayal or abandonment keep you from growing or you will become Mamimi, who has retreated from life waiting for someone else to fix her. Growing up is accepting that life will always be mysterious. Because we're all really just kids dealing with increasingly complex responsibilities and emotions - all you can do is have the courage to grapple with those things while maintaining your core decency. Never be afraid to swing the bat - but accept your strikeouts with grace and gratitude. I can't put it better than Charles Grodin does in this clip:

So what does "FLCL" mean? To me, it means something adult and something childish. You need both in order to be a complete person. You never stop being who you are as a kid - there is never this line that you cross to become your idealized adult self. Suppressing the kid in you is denying who you are, snuffing out your capacity to hope and love. So many disown their true feelings and their true selves in order to become their adult self in the hopes that once they reach that finish line, they will be alright. Our anxieties and insecurities are created by who we think we are supposed to be. But playing these roles is what makes all of these characters profoundly unhappy - it is when they stop trying to deny their true selves that they find peace.

The person who Naota is actually compatible with is Ninamori. One of the most wonderful, unspoken ironies in FLCL is that because Naota is so preoccupied trying to decipher his relationships with Haruko and Mamimi, he is blind to the girl who is truly smitten with him. In a way, their stories are running parallel to each other - Ninamori is going through a lot of the same confusion and turbulence (she's the only other character who has a death-machine sprout from their head) but finally learns to work through it in a healthy way (13:15). She calls him out when he's wrong but still views him with a deep curiosity. To her, he's as mysterious and wonderful as a shooting star. So when their friends are fawning over Naota in "Brittle Bullet," she watches him with a deep skepticism because she can recognize that he's lying to himself. She sees him clearly and is frustrated by his attempts to be someone he is not. As the series draws to a close, it's hinted that she will become the woman in Naota's life and that his heart will be in good hands. The show is smart enough to not have them get together in the end, though. At least not now. They're just kids, after all. They have all the time in the world.

Some people still argue about whether or not Naota ever really attained "adulthood." Of course he did - he became Atomsk, after all. It's just that he realized that "adulthood" is a fallacy. Maturity is not some revelation, it's an ongoing process - it's gaining layers that strengthen who you already are. When Naota gained Atomsk's powers, he realized that he didn't want or need it - becoming Atomsk would just be putting on another mask (or a pair of fake glasses or seaweed eyebrows). He doesn't need to drink the sour stuff and he doesn't need to become his brother. He loves the sweet stuff, he loves his brother, he loves his boring old town and he loves Haruko - and he is no longer going to disengage from the world around him even if it can be rough. He's become grateful that he gets to love and learn and accepts that the world will always be mysterious and out of his control. Haruko can't accept this, and that's why she needs to keep on truckin' while Naota stays. It's not that he couldn't follow her - he's just the one who is no longer lost.